Read my blog.

Another question about couples and living together harmoniously.

"Is there any way to gently, politely and respectfully persuade a grown up that picking up after himself is a worthwhile skill and that life will be more peaceful and smooth after learning it? I am trying very hard not to be a martyr about this, but I'm not feeling very skillful today.

At least I stopped myself from shouting "put DOWN the $@! video game and pick UP the $!!% broom!"

Is there a winning strategy for this?"

What I counsel folks to do around these issues is to enter into a conversation about what isn't working as a household -- rather than focusing on one person's non-compliance with the other person's rules or desires. It gets away from any historic grievances and levels the field. No more he said, she said.

That said (!), an honest inventory of what is working and isn't working -- and team problem-solving becomes the focus of the exercise.

Asking questions like, "What can we all do to make the house run more smoothly since it seems we're not functioning at the top of our game as a household?"

"Are we equally committed to everyone feeling comfortable at home or are we only interested in the lowest common denominator? What's required for everyone to feel safe and comfortable at home?"

Seek out questions that engage everyone in finding and committing to solutions rather than harping on the problems. It's fine in taking the household's inventory to speak frankly about the breakdown areas, just be mindful of expressing them in ways that are not accusations or attacks.

Because until it's identified as a common problem, there won't be a common solution.

I realize it may be challenging when one has been harboring a growing sense of dissatisfaction to maybe feel like the other partner is 'getting away' with something, but the bigger point is to get the house running smoothly with all hands on deck. If someone has to pay off historic debt before they are forgiven or allowed to move forward, there will be an equal and opposite resentment built.

I'd think if you can get to the place where you're living the solution and everyone is on-board, those historic grievances will be easier to let go of.

Good luck and please report back on your progress!

I'm not prone to this degree of self-promotion, but wanted to let everyone know about the launch of a new blogtalkradio show I'll be hosting for the next four weeks.

Every Sunday in June at 10:00AM EST, I'll be talking with authors, organizers, spiritual teachers and folks just as disorganized as you may be -- as they discuss and explore the ways that getting organized positively impacts our lives, and in particular, has changed their lives.

My book, Unstuff Your Life!, will be the basis for many of the conversations ... and/but I'm confident the conversation will be about personal transformation rather than a shameless plug for my book :)

Hope you can tune in!

Unstuff Your Life! on Blogtalkradio

After that frustrating experience with the attorney's office a few weeks ago, here's the Fedex story.

A package is shipped to me Fedex Ground, indirect signature required. Meaning I don't have to personally sign for it. This is the shipper's designation, not mine. Shipper did not consult with me first.

I get home late (9:00pm) and discover a Fedex door tag in my mailbox, telling me that my package has arrived and has been left with my neighbor in 6B. I don't know this neighbor.

I stop at 6B, and although there are shoes outside the front door, no one answers.

I head upstairs, call Fedex and actually reach a live person, Naomi.

Naomi confirms that the package was delivered and that it was signed for. I tell her that it may have been delivered but that I didn't sign for it and I also don't have it.

I ask, "How can Fedex just give my package to a neighbor that I don't know?"

She says that the terms of 'indirect signature' allow them to. And how else can she help me?

I ask to speak to her supervisor.

The supervisor, who introduces herself to me as Kelly, Customer Service Advocate, asks how can she help me?

I explain that I'm upset and confused by what happened and can she explain it to me.

She parrots the policy to me and says that, according to the policy, that is all that Fedex is required to do.

I say, "I understand spirit of the law and letter of the law interpretations of policy, but in this case, it seems like Fedex has made a mistake as I DON'T KNOW THE PERSON YOU'VE LEFT MY PACKAGE WITH."

She replies, "I'm sorry you feel that way, we feel as if we've done what we were contracted to do."

Really?

I chuckle to myself at the irony in her title, as the only advocating she was engaged in was CYA advocating for Fedex and absolutely none for me. She did not seem aware of said irony.

I ask to speak to her supervisor. She puts me on hold, then reports that no one is available right now. Someone will call me back in a short while. I leave my number.

Her supervisor Lois calls me back in about an hour. 10pm. Wow, Fedex works late! Granted they're on the west coast, so they have a slight time advantage.

I share my story and my disappointment with Kelly and Naomi.

Lois gets it. She is appropriately apologetic, agrees that this is a bizarre event (thank you!) and that she will get to the bottom of it and keep me posted. She never once suggested that Kelly was right, or defended Fedex's interpretation of 'indirect' or anything along those lines.

She gives me her direct number.

She understood that I was their customer, that I was inconvenienced by something that was supposed to make my life more convenient and that she wanted to retain my business AND right a problem.

The next day, I got a call from Lois, checking in. I reported that I now had my package. She apologizes again and informs me that she called the local station and was waiting to hear from them with some sort of explanation.

The next morning I get a call from the Fedex driver, a bit distraught.

His boss chewed him out. The driver explains that the neighbor indicated that he knew me, which he doesn't, and that he'd take the package. No fault of the driver's. Odd choice on the part of my neighbor. I can see how it might have seemed a neighborly thing to do ... no one likes missing a package.

But had I been that friendly/presumptuous, I would have left a note for my neighbor with my phone number and some times when they could collect their package.

Bottom line is, here was someone, albeit two levels senior to the first line of defense, who understands customer service. We can also hope that Lois' commitment to responsive and compassionate customer service will somehow influence Naomi and Kelly, and they too will now work diligently to get results.

Because of Lois, two of those results are the retention of my business and sharing this success story with you.