Virgoman - Creating Order out of Chaos

The things we procrastinate about, the things we want to get done with and out of our lives as quickly as possible, actually end up staying IN our lives the longest when we procrastinate.

We think, erroneously, that by delaying them, we'll spend the least amount of time possible with them.

But in reality, they are with us the longest. Because every day we put them off becomes another day they're hanging around, nagging at us and reminding us of what we're NOT doing.

Do you want to get unpleasant or "not fun" things off your list or out of your way? Do them first.

I incorporated last year. And finished out the year using Quicken Essentials, which is a dumbed-down version of Quicken 2007 for the Mac.

I hate Quicken Essentials. And I resent Intuit for basically forcing my hand into using it by not releasing a version of Quicken 2007 that was compatible with my OS. When I upgraded to the latest Mac operating system, Quicken 2007 stopped working.

And of course, after spending the money to buy QE and migrating my data, Intuit changed course and DID release an updated version.

But by then, my business coach encouraged me to migrate to QuickBooks!

So I did nothing. I stacked up sorted receipts, and checked my accounts online and fumed.

I was too busy to migrate data AGAIN and start all over. AGAIN.

How many times have I heard that from a student?!

And so, like anyone else who feels put upon and self-righteous, I dug in my heels and procrastinated.

It didn't help that I was apartment hunting, then moving and also on the road weeks at a time this year.

But it certainly fueled the flames of my resentment.

All along, however, I was the one who was suffering.

My books weren't current.

I read somewhere that feeding a resentment was like taking poison and expecting the other person to get sick and die.

Indeed.

So when I came off the road last week, along with unpacking the rest of my stuff, I forced myself to sit down and load in the first four months of accounting into QuickBooks.

It hurt. It hurt to do it and it hurt to admit that it hurt more because I was being stubborn.

I'd do a month and then get up and walk around the apartment and fuss and then I'd sit down and do another month.

I'd shout at the ceiling that this sucked and that I didn't want to do it and that I was angry.

I'd check my email.

I'd get a snack.

Then I'd do some work.

And now my bookkeeping for 2012 is all caught up.

Moral of the story:

You're right if you think you are but that won't get you as far as you think.

And when given the choice of being right or being happy, I'll choose happy every time. Eventually.

That's certainly how it feels sometimes.

It's why I have been absent these past weeks. Even I can get overwhelmed.

It's been a little over a month since I moved and a little over one week that I've actually been in my apartment without traveling somewhere.

And as a result, most things now have homes. So I'm sleeping better.

I don't know about you, but I can't think clearly or strategically when I'm surrounded by clutter and disorganization. It's too distracting.

Sometimes it's so distracting that even starting to put things away seems impossible. Where to start?

I chose the kitchen. Partly because so much storage is already built in with cabinets and drawers. Finding homes for things doesn't require as much work.

Ditto the bathroom -- thanks to a generous medicine cabinet and a sink base with four drawers, anything bathroom-related soon found a smart and practical home.

The living room was more difficult because as I unpacked, what I was immediately left with were piles of things -- papers, cables yet to be reconnected and things that had a home in my old apartment that were looking more and more obsolete in this new place.

The day I walked down the block to the thrift store was a good day -- I got rid of two bags of stuff, and then looped by the post office to mail a few things off to friends, dropped into Restoration Hardware to return a robe hook, and then the library to reserve a few books and change my address. BONUS, once I registered with my local branch, I could access their website and reserve books online.

So now I'm almost settled. They'll come this week to take away an old dresser that I'm sending to a local consignment shop. Hopefully someone will want it. If not, I'll donate it and take it off my taxes.

At this point, getting it out of the house is more important than trying to harvest some money out of it.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to sell it. But I've had it on craigslist for several weeks now and not a single bite. And walking around it every day is getting tired.

So better to have it gone than having it serve as a source of agitation every day. Time's short and there's work to do and life to live ... it's just a dresser and regardless of how much I bought it for, chances are it won't be the last bit of money I have spent on something, thinking it would be in my life longer than it actually was.

It's not unlike dating -- we may be imagining a life partner before they open their mouths, but when you know it's not going anywhere, it's not that hard to either excuse yourself or at least never do it again.

There's a bit about self-care and self-respect in there that is worth noting. Regardless of our weak moments when we're overly judgmental or harsh with ourselves, at least for myself, I do have enough self-regard to know when to cut my losses. And I'll bet you do, too.

What would your life look like if you won the lottery?

What would mine look like?

That's the question I'm asking myself this weekend.

Along with remembering our service members who gave selflessly of their lives, I'm reflecting on this question to see how far from a life that thrills me I currently am.

Why not do the same and let me know what you come up with?

More about moving in the coming week as well :)




 (with a special thanks to Sarah Byam)

Tomorrow the movers come.

Friends came over yesterday to help -- only the second actual day of packing since I had been in DC working on a client's move earlier in the week.

My apt is now a maze of boxes and furniture.

There are holes in the wall that need patching.

I need a few more boxes.

And I'm ambivalent about how much more I want to do since the movers will be here in the morning.

Once again, it comes down to time or money.

There are some things I can pack to make tomorrow go quicker and easier but I also have some work to do today so ... doing a little cost benefit analysis to figure out how much time I want to spend inside boxes today.

One of the benefits of being organized is that there isn't much extra here in my home -- there was no big purge as things came off shelves and out of drawers.

I did decide to let go of about 25 books -- mostly mysteries I have read that I won't read again.

So why not spread them around?

I have deep gratitude for the things that surround and support me in my home -- from art to appliances.

They provide comfort and convenience and I'm grateful that I don't have more than I need.

I have enough.

It makes moments like this easier to navigate.

Where in your life is "enough" a source of satisfaction?

And where is it dismissed or discounted in the search for "more?'

Last week was a hectic week --I was in DC working on a client's move.

36 hours in three days.

Not typical but we had a small window to get it done.

During our work, the husband and wife learned a bit more about each other.

More than a few times, the wife would say, "I'm ready to let it go, but you'll need to check with _______. He really loves such and such."

When we checked with him, he was not attached at all and out it went.

And vice versa. The husband would remark, "Linens are her thing. I don't care about this but check with her."

When we did, she'd say, "If he's ready to let it go, so am I. I thought he liked that but I'm fine with it leaving."

Which freed them up to start asking questions of each other. Soon questions were flying around as things were uncovered.

"Can we finally get rid of this? I've never liked it."

And, "Can we get a new one of these when we get there? This one has never worked right."

We were all amused at the number of things that had insinuated their way into the home as a result of:

Cost -- it was free or a "bargain"
Source -- it was a gift, memento or souvenir
Inertia -- no one was clear on how it got there but once there, everyone just accepted that it belonged there

Over and over they were surprised -- both independent of each other and together -- at how much stuff they have.

"We did this already. We already purged a bunch of stuff. I can't believe there is still this much stuff here that we don't need."

By the time I left, their living room was filled with things to be given away or donated. A sectional, a cabinet of drawers and a shelving unit had been Freecycled.

The house looked comfortable and spacious and ready to be shown for sale.

Furniture had been identified to be moved and to be left behind. They were thrilled at how much stuff they had found to let go of.

And they were now looking forward to the move.

Along with all the stress that comes with moving, they were able to see the relocation as an opportunity for a fresh start.

They saw the freedom that comes with less.

Once again they learned: Lose the story, lose the stuff.

I'm moving my home next week.

Which, if you've ever moved, you know can be both exciting and intimidating. And while I may be "the most organized man in America," moving brings out the best and worst in me, too.

Granted, I don't have a junk drawer filled with random stuff. But I do still have all the other stuff that needs to be sorted through, packed up and schlepped across town.

So as I start to pull books off the shelves and clothes out of the closets, I get to see what I'm hanging onto and the stories I'm telling myself about these things as well.

It's a great way to keep myself honest and make sure I'm walking my talk.

So far I've let go of two fleece pullovers. I've never liked the way they fit. One was a gift from a friend and one was purchased on a surprisingly cold day in Seattle when I needed an extra layer.

Like everyone else, I was keeping them because:

A) a good friend had given it to me

B) I had spent "good" money on it

As I say often, no one (except maybe a thief or drug dealer) ever spent "bad" money on anything.

Every penny we've ever earned is "good" money. And regardless of HOW good it is, if the object no longer serves us, it's time for it to go.

I've started a thrift store bag by the front door and it now contains two fleeces and some DVDs I'll never watch again.

Stay tuned over the next week as more things leave and more stories come to light!